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I’m not sure I’m back

April 17, 2016
by Erin B

In the past year, a lot has happened.  I got a permanent part time job, that meant I ended up working more than full time for three months while I finished up my previous contracts.

I developed some anxiety while settling into a new routine around work.

C graduated high school.

V now is one half of a common law marriage.  We adore her partner, CM.

T’s mom, Y, who taught me to knit, and to cook (rather than just follow a recipe) who was alway so supportive of us, was diagnosed with stage four stomach cancer.

School started.  Two big girls in post secondary and Little Girl in grade 2.

Little girl lost her first tooth.

Chemo went bad and Y was admitted to hospital for a month.

One of the five houses on our short list of properties we might actually be willing to move for came up on the market.

Y told us we had to get it.

We spent a crazy two weeks working 18 hour days to get our house ready to show.

It sold in 24 hours.

We spend a month packing.  T’s dad, B, arranged movers to bring all our stuff to the new house.

Y was admitted into palliative care.

We moved the last day in November.

C turned 18.

We frantically unpacked and sorted and hosted Christmas at our new house, including being set up enough for V and her partner CM to stay over.

Y made it through Christmas and even got to come home for a couple of hours on Christmas day.

Little Girl lost her second tooth

Many of the things we had previously done in the old house are having to be done in the new house.  The second bathroom reno was almost the same as the first.

My mom made me cry for my birthday.  Not in a good way.  I’m getting counselling for it.  We have a very dysfunctional relationship.  I hadn’t really realized exactly how bad it was until I started talking to a professional about it.

Y came home for a while.  They set up a hospital bed in the living room.  This made it easier to visit.  Homeware and friends and family all pitched in to make sure there was always someone around.

Her liver started to fail the end of February.

Y passed away March 5th.

The memorial service was March 20th.

Spring came.

Little girl lost her two front top teeth in a 24 hour period.  The first one went to the tooth fairy.  The second was completely unexpected and was swallowed while eating a pear.

Yard work is starting.  I always went plant shopping with Y.

I miss her.

We need a new roof.  We need to remove some trees that wrecked the current roof.

Mother’s day is coming.  We won’t be celebrating with either Gramma this year.

Little girl is getting a new play house.  T is out there building it as I type.

The new house is amazing.  We wouldn’t have gone for it if Y hadn’t pushed us/helped us.  The yard is huge.  The house is nice.  The street is quiet.  The walk to Little Girl’s school is only half as long and she can come home for lunch on days I’m not working.

I’m hoping to start blogging more.

There has been a lot of good in the last year, but the bad has just been overwhelming.  I haven’t known what to say.

I still don’t.

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